Voyeurism: Drawing a Line between a Peeping Tom and a Sexual Predator

All of us indulge in vicarious pleasures of life ever now and then, whether it is while flipping through the pages of erotic thriller Fifty Shades of Grey or watching a celebrity sex video that has gone viral on the net. However, while we do step in the shoes of a voyeur unknowingly from time to time, God forbid someone brands us one and all hell will break lose. However, while it may not be “the” preferred way of sexual gratification for most of us, we seldom let a chance to pry on a sexual activity slip by.

Therefore, it may be safe to say that voyeurism is innate to human nature and perhaps the rock bed of physical attraction that we feel for the opposite sex. However, the point of concern here is identifying the difference between a harmless erotic preference and a sinister perversion that can end up leaving both the voyeur and the object of his or her obsession psychologically traumatized. Hitchcock’s cult classic Psycho is just the case in point. It was hard to imagine Peeping Tom Norman Bates turning out to be the knife wielding psycho in the end.

A sensitive subject that demands a thorough discourse by psychological experts, voyeurism can quickly turn from an undisruptive erotic activity into a dangerous sexual fascination. In general the attributes associated with voyeurs are considered undesirable and it is best to steer clear of people who exhibit a clear preference for this form of sexual deviance in their love lives. Voyeuristic tendencies can quickly aggravate from fantasy to obsession and may even lead to sexually aggressive behavior towards the opposite sex.

The technological advances in this century have only served to feed our innate voyeuristic tendencies further. We do not blink an eye before watching an MMS clip that has become quite a sensation due to its charged sexual content. Gone are the days when the glimpse of a pretty girl’s cleavage while she bent down was enough to satiate our voyeuristic urges. Today, we need to watch every other celebrity sex tape that hits the internet, thus propagating the voyeuristic culture even further.

Maybe we can term voyeurism as a full-blown fetish in today’s exhibitionist times when every other person wishes to grab eyeballs by uploading provocative and often wildly inappropriate pictures or videos of themselves on social media and live video streaming sites. In today’s world where the Kardashian family is perhaps as or more famous than the Obama family, there is no shortage of exhibitionists who love being watched and there are almost as many or more number of voyeurs present to oblige them.

However, while the exhibitionists and voyeurs can thank the lord of paraphilia for their heavenly match, those who do not fall in either category should concern themselves with the question of safety, both physical and mental, while indulging in sexcapades with voyeurs or exhibitionists. In fact, even when a voyeuristic sex act is consensual, such as watching your partner masturbate to feel arousal, it can lead to dangerous outcomes that are tailored to satiate more than just the erotic desires of a voyeur.

Thus, if the voyeuristic role playing that you have been introduced to by your lover is making you experience a new wave of intensity and excitement during love making, do not drop it all together but make sure that your partner has other bedroom tricks in his or her repertoire to get his or her and your motor running. However, if he or she insists solely on voyeuristic role playing, it would be wise of you to seek a consultation with a psychiatrist to determine your partner’s state of mental health and to identify any underlying and undiagnosed psychological issues.


Written By: Shweta Ghorpade

To see or not to see

Numerous office surveys have connected productivity in a work setting to everything possible under the sun, from the dress code of the employees to the temperature at the work space. However, what if it is a hot woman who is increasing the level of mercury in your office? The million dollar question is whether hot women take away from the performance of their male colleagues or motivate them to push themselves and achieve more. As expected, the survey question posted for this blog fetched mixed responses and it was surprising to learn that though our male friends appreciate having an object of the proverbial “Nain Sukh Prapti or NSP”, traditionally known as eye candy, in their offices, they are far from distracted by it.

If anything, hot women flaunting power dressing are like a gush of cool breeze that refreshes one on a hot summer afternoon. Take a break, admire the work of beauty in front of you, forget about the pressure of targets and deadlines for those few seconds, and then get back to work recharged for another 2-3 hours. As one of the respondents to the survey question beautifully put it “good looking women can really make Mondays feel better.” While male respondents to the survey question were divided on the issue, women seemed to be equivocal in their negative response to the question. Well, all one can say to that is that the proof of the pudding is in the eating!!

Chitrangada Singh, who played a corporate woman in Inkaar

The key here may be in distinguishing power dressing from provocative dressing by women. May be hot women can switch their chest-hugging shirts and butt clinching trousers with a high ponytail or a suave hair cut if they want to convey power and authority by the way they dress and carry themselves in their offices. Plunging neck lines and high hemlines only contribute to attracting the wrong type of guys and unwelcome advances. By dressing appropriately, in an outfit that does not necessarily advertise all their assets, corporate women can not only do more work in an office but also get more work done by their colleagues and team members.

Well, to conclude, we are not saying that taking a few seconds to glance at your good-looking colleague is going to put your KRA sheet in a state of crisis, but in the end men will be men and a hint of the outline of the perky breast of an attractive woman through her tight-fitting shirt is sure to catch his attention more than a low-intensity tremor on the Richter scale. It has been scientifically proven that men let their mental faculties slip a little just as they catch a glimpse of a cleavage or see a skirt riding too high up the thigh of a pretty woman. But then that is not limited to just the office setting.

Furthermore, whether a man relishes the sight for the split second that it lasts and gets back to work after it or goes on to day dream about it even at the cost of his daily deadline is totally dependent on the moral fabric and the mental makeup of the person. May be a little self control is all that is required of men to not to turn to blokes in the presence of a beautiful woman in a paid work setting. Or may be “hot” women should try to tone down their sex appeal by dressing appropriately for office. On second thoughts, it is definitely the former statement that makes more sense.

Research: Me

Penned by: Shweta Ghorpade