Compromising with virginity

A fine quote that I came across in one of the websites and also in a text message read: “Trust, like virginity, once compromised can never be regained.”  How true! Now we all know that breaking of trust is something that everyone of us experience at some time or the other. We have so many relatives, friends, colleagues, etc, so chances of breaking trust on more than once occasion is quite high. But the same does not hold true for virginity, as it is not something that can be unsealed more than once.

Earlier, by virginity we only understood female virginity. But thanks to the western influence, today people also talk about male virginity. One popular film dialogue that I can remember is from the recent Bolly flick ‘Dil to bachcha hai ji’, where Shazahn Padamsee says to Ajay Devgan, “I was only three when you lost your V!”

My personal observation is that in modern India, virginity is no longer a major issue as it was even a few years ago. Earlier husbands and boy friends expected their wives/girl friends to be virgins for sure. Perhaps women also expected the same, but the shortcoming being there is no way to detect it. But today, it would be foolish of anyone to expect that their partner would be a virgin for certainty.

Like it or not, modern Indian youth has opened up to sex big time. Today perhaps we are living in an age where people change partners frequently. You may like it, or reproach those who do it, but that’s how it is. And trust me, this is not just the picture of urban India. As one of the ill effects of globalisation, with the spread of communication services, rural India is also coming under the influence of a sex-savvy culture, if I may put it that way!

However, when it comes to discussions, sex is still a hush-hush thing in India. This is surprising, considering that sex supposedly got its definition and its various innovations in India. If you look at the sculptures at Ajanta-Ellora or the Konark Temple, you’ll realise that things like doggystyle, blowjob, paedophile, group sex, etc were very much in existence then, hundreds of years ago. So why are these things, and sex in general, an issue today?

I recently conducted a survey asking some young people whether they think that modern urban Indian boys and girls lose their virginity in their teens. The results were quite interesting, as 67% of the respondents agreed to the view, of which most were men. So do men and women have different ideas and experience about virginity?

However, one female respondent said, “Though I didn’t lose my virginity in my teens, most of my friends did.” This partly justifies the outcome of the survey, though one wonders whether it is both boys and girls who lose virginity in their teens. Some respondents are of the view that a certain percentage of Indian teens may lose their virginity in their teens, but not the majority.

Interestingly, a recent survey had revealed that in the US the average age of losing virginity is 13 years! Apparently the average is not so low in India, but it is supposedly in the teens. According to one respondent, losing of virginity in India is the highest among those in the late and mid teens. One reason for that could be that in villages, people still get married at an age when they should have been going to school.

Nonetheless, as I said earlier, modern India has opened up to sex, whether for good or bad is questionable. Some do it out of love, some for lust, while some do it simply because they think that as an individual they have the right to live the way they want. Can’t disagree, as long as one doesn’t end up playing with someone’s emotions.